How to Grow your Confidence

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What is confidence? It’s a sort of emotion and sort of a state of being. It’s something very primal that can be seen in all facets of life and in many different animals and insects. You could even describe some plant life as being more confident than others. To understand confidence we must take a look at self-esteem. Self-esteem is essentially how we feel about ourselves. To improve our confidence must first focus on ways to boost our self-esteem.

Many things outside of ourselves can affect our self-esteem both positively and negatively. Things like your progress at work and your relationships at home will both influence you and as a result your confidence. The good thing is that your power as a living human is that you have some control over your self-esteem and can influence yourself through your behaviours and thoughts. 

You can start to influence your self-esteem by making an effort to be kind to yourself. I recommend following a meditation practice so you can better see what thoughts you are experiencing and choose which ones you’d like to take on board. You should try to take care of yourself as if you were looking after a child. Get good sleep. Feed yourself the right foods. Exercise. All of these things will help you to strengthen your belief in yourself and your self-esteem. 

You should remember not to compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday not to how someone else is today. You have lived a very different life from other people, particularly once you are over the age of 25. Comparing yourself to others will only confuse and frustrate you as there will always be someone better and worse than you. Remember that joy comes not from a comparison but advancement. Focus on making yourself the best person you can be today. 

If you are looking for a confidence boost in complex and uncertain environments, I’d recommend acting confident even if you don’t feel it. Your body language will create a feedback loop that helps you to build the real confidence you need. You can also create this loop daily by making it a habit to remember all the things you are grateful for. Try keeping a gratitude diary to remind yourself of your fortunes and keep you in a positive place. When you create the space for positivity it will be much easier to feel confident and in control. You should also try to surround yourself with people who care about you and make you feel good about yourself. A supportive network of friends is one of the greatest gifts you can have and will help you to move through the world feeling well supported. 

If you aren’t good with confrontation then you should take steps to learn how to assert yourself. I’m not saying go out looking for a fight but practice being able to stand up to uncomfortable situations. Try to start by recognising when something upsets you and then consider what you could do about it. 

A great way for learning how to assert yourself is by correcting your posture. If you stand up tall with your shoulders back you will seem more confident and you will feel more capable of handling difficult situations. This all will allow you to build your confidence and make you good at tackling difficult situations which in and of itself creates a feedback loop that will have you growing more and more confident with each new experience. 

Remember to also do things that you enjoy. Finding things that excite and stimulate you will help you to feel happier and more comfortable in your life. When you’ve completed something difficult or handled yourself well in tough environments reward yourself. This will help you feel and act more confidently the next time you are in a tricky situation. 

Try new things and get out of your comfort zone. With each new activity or challenge that you overcome you will become more confident. In fact, if you think about it, what is confidence but the willingness to confront uncomfortable obstacles and challenges in your life? Through trying new activities you will discover many things that give your life meaning and if you can find the parts of your life that give you meaning you will have found the seed from which your personal confidence can grow. 


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