I’ve recently been wondering whether or not I shouldn’t try speed dating. I’ve been single for some time and I’ve started to feel a little tired of it. I think, for the majority of us, we’d like to find someone special whom we can spend our days with, yet in practice finding that person can be difficult and scary. In a world where apps like hinge and tinder have revolutionised the dating landscape, it seems the etiquette around dating is changing and it can take real bravery to approach someone in person.
With Valentine’s Day just past, I felt that maybe I should be being more proactive in my dating life. Maybe I should try speed dating or go to a singles event. I had a look on the Sense Social app and found that events were happening in London in the lead up to valentine’s day. This was exciting for me but when booking I suddenly felt scared and self-conscious. I didn’t go through with it. I figured I’d just stay home and save the money.
It has got me thinking about the stigma around speed dating or dating in person. I’m sure many of us see no issue at all in using dating apps but should it come to meeting someone in person at an event designed to bring people together the thought seems to terrify us. Or at least it does me.
So I wanted to write this article to see if I can make speed dating and singles events seem a little less scary and maybe inspire some adventurousness from all you singles out there.
I think a good place to start in destigmatising all this is to start with a basic question. What sort of people are you going to meet at these events? Does going on a speed date mean scraping the bottom of the dating pool? I don’t think so. The people that you are likely to come across are people who are extremely busy and haven’t had the time recently to go out and meet someone new. Likely the people that you are going to meet are probably a bit like you. People who are ready to have a relationship and yet haven’t met the right person. People who want to start a new chapter in their lives.
You won’t always take a liking to every person you meet, but with an open mind, you can see it as a great opportunity to explore different personalities and getting to know people you wouldn’t otherwise meet. They aren’t likely to be the people you find sitting alone at a bar at 2 am, that’s for sure.
Most of the people who are attending these events are being extremely courageous and adventurous. They want to meet new people and expand their social circles. Most of the events aren’t free either. This means that on top of everything the people who are going have made a commitment to the process.
It also gives you a fun opportunity to go out. Whether you go by yourself or with a friend you can get dressed up and get out of the house. Surely we’ve spent enough time indoors these last few years? Get out, have a good time and if you go by yourself you can feel comfortable in the idea that you may never see these people again so making a fool of yourself it’s no big deal. It’s just a funny story and all part of life’s adventure.
I think that with renewed optimism it’s easy to see that going on a speed date might actually be great fun and well worth your time if you’re thinking of moving onto a new chapter in your life.
It makes me think of the Denzel Washington quote: “To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.”
